


Words

by jedicallie (writergirlie)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-14
Updated: 2010-05-14
Packaged: 2017-10-09 10:46:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/86437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writergirlie/pseuds/jedicallie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The words we leave unsaid can sometimes lead to the biggest regrets of our lives. Callista reflects on her past with Luke and wishes she could have told him more often how she loved him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words

**Author's Note:**

> Though my own personal SW verse diverges greatly from what's been laid out in the books after _Planet of Twilight,_ I sometimes reflect on how Callista would have felt upon hearing the news that her beloved had, after years away from her, finally given up and married another. This is my interpretation of it.
> 
> And now I'll retreat back into my safe little bubble of denial, where Luke and Callista are happily married and have built a life with their beautiful children :).

_I miss those blue eyes_

_How you kiss me at night_

_I miss the way we sleep_

_Like there's no sunrise_

_Like the taste of your smile_

_I miss the way we breathe_

_But I never told you_

_What I should have said_

_No, I never told you_

_I just held it in_

_And now…_

_I miss everything about you_

_Can't believe that I still want you_

_And after all the things we've been through_

_I miss everything about you_

\-- “I Never Told You” Colbie Caillet

 

 

He had been the first to say the words.

 

Callista knew she loved Luke from the moment he touched her—truly touched her: flesh and bone, mouth and skin. She’d crept up to his side when he was sleeping, pressing her body against his, seeking his form and shape, longing to feel the breath and heartbeat of another after thirty long years without human contact. But when he turned to gather her in his arms and held her as she wept, she realized it wasn’t just anyone with whom she needed to connect.

 

It was Luke. It could only ever be Luke.

 

She had known it then, and yet she didn’t tell him, expressing it instead with her body, letting him kiss her and fill her and touch her until she cried from the release. Years later, she would ask herself why hadn’t simply said it out loud, replaying the moment in her head countless times until she felt herself at the brink of insanity. He had needed to hear it then. And she had needed to hear herself say it out loud.

 

_I love you_.

 

The words held such power, and even when she was younger, still unaware and unscarred by Geith’s betrayal, she’d known not to use them lightly. In her youth she had wasted them on him. She had loved Geith, but as only a girl could love a boy—a foolish, idealistic view of love that had no room for human flaws or imperfections. Mistakes. Abandonment. A brittle kind of love that when shattered, could no longer be put back together as it once was.

 

But Luke… Luke was different. He saw her scars and was undeterred; he felt her emptiness and sought only to fill it. And she knew that this love forged out of fire, that held in it light and hope and redemption, was different. It was love that was meant to last, even if the circumstances could not allow it.

Had he known it? Even if she hadn’t told him often enough—as often as he deserved to hear it? Had he known how much she loved him when he raised his hand to her in Nam Chorios, when he’d released her to walk her own path? She had to believe it. The alternative was too painful for her to bear.

Had he known it when he had chosen another? Callista couldn’t pretend that a small part of her hadn’t died on learning the news, though she’d set him free to find his own road, away from her. He would be happy. He would have children and a home, the life they had intended to build together, but fate had cheated them out of.

 

And until her last breath, she would regret not saying the words sooner. More often.

 

_I love you. And I will love you always._


End file.
